Wednesday, March 6, 2013

6 months fly's by...........

Good morning

I decided that after putting this off for so long it was time for me to catch you all up on my recent progress, life, and fun stuff. This time I am not apologizing for not writing lol I was just not feeling like writing and sharing. I also have been so busy it's nuts! The last time I wrote was in August. So to sum up quickly without boring you to much I have decided bullet points will have to do.....

  • November we went on our annual Mexico trip and visited some really beautiful beaches. We drank and danced and ate so much great food. This was our 6th trip to the Mayan Rivera and every time we love it more. We found this beautiful beach that had a bar located right at the water. It was GORGEOUS!!! 
  • December came and I spent a good portion of this month very sick. I got really sick just after Mexico. It started with fever then I broke out in a rash, then had all the symptoms of cold and flu. I then decided to STOP my injections. You are not suppose to take them when you have an infection and I was INFECTED lol.....after Christmas I still was not 100 percent so I tried very hard to eat right and get better.
  • January came and I felt really great so I decided to NOT go back on the Humira. I figured I had no pain, was able to run, walk and feel 50 percent better so why stay on it. I did not tell anyone and decided I would wait to see if I was in remission. I also started school!!! I registered for my MOA at BCIT and decided I wanted to get into the medical end of things. I have had to learn so much already that hopefully this would be the first steps to a proper medical background helping others with Arthritis. I am starting with my MOA and then from there the possibilities are endless.
  • February came and I still had not gone back on the Humira. Work clearly was busy with Valentines but I seemed to manage my minimal symptoms well. I decided that I wanted to stay off the Humira and try to get my body ready for a baby......I felt ready and willing to try, although not married, I was feeling a lot of pressure with the time limit at my age also I felt so good that the timing seemed right. By the end of February I decided to celebrate not being on the medication by telling friends and family. I was thrilled to "think" I was in a remission state. I received so many great messages and I in the back of my mind I felt it was to good to be true..........
MARCH........well I spoke to soon, Although a bit discouraged I am thinking about going back on the Humira. This past week was a reminder for me that my Arthritis is not gone, that it still exists in this body. I understand there is no cure but remission sounds so nice. My mood has changed, I feel stressed, upset and frustrated. No one can imagine unless you are in these shoes. It amazes me that life seemed that much easier when I felt good. My life was still that same minus the chronic pain. Not only has the arthritis decided to flare up again it also comes along with the reality that I have it. Which then comes with the thinking, worrying and wondering what each day will have in store. I am not worried as much as I feel scared again. It is hard to express this to friends and family in a manner that will make them totally understand, but I know that they get the jyst of it. The funny thing is I don't remember how bad I was before the Humira. Was I worse then this? I mean how did I function and not fly off the deep end.....LOL I  so badly want to be able to care for a child, to run another half marathon ( which I am registered for) and wake up one day in full remission. For now I try and stay positive and decide if I will go back on the biologics. This by no means is a negative thing, sometimes I need to live in the reality of living with arthritis because it helps me connect with others. I read a quote once and I really liked it because of the meaning behind it. We never know how tough our road might be, but as long as we stay positive and keep trying anything is possible. THAT IS A FACT!!1

"I set my sights on making an Olympic Team, not realizing how tough it was going to be" 


No comments:

Post a Comment