2014 In review and a year of not writing.

Where do I begin to explain why I did not share any stories, photos, and somewhat inspirational stuff. Like blogs that just disappear that is exactly what happened to mine in 2014. I got married, focused on my schooling (did you know that) and really worked on getting my feet placed solid on the ground with my health. What I learned in 2014 is that I am the most important person when it comes to what I think and others think. I am the one who has to look at herself everyday and like what I see. I think this is something that comes with age. I am not the most confident and this past year I did have some moments where I did not like what I saw in the mirror. I think we all have those days. BUT with that being said I am so proud I kicked ass in my night school, I am so GRATEFUL I created a wedding that made for a happy day, and I am mostly grateful that I feel like I am on the right path. it is interesting going back and reading all the past posts. I can defiantly see my journey. I can see my hard times, lonely times and I can see my great times!!!

You can not feel good if you are in pain everyday, and this past year I switched biologics and although there was a few minor hick-ups I was able to box, run, walk and sleep through the night. I was able to feel NORMAL. I was able to pick up my niece and nephews without any issues. I was able to walk down the isle without limping or worrying about the size of my dress. I felt like I was normal. It truly made for a better year. I only had to do it every month which was great. Instead of every 10 days. Plain and simple it changed my life. I started juicing everyday, some days my juices was horrific....LOL but started to make small changes in my eating and I feel like that also helped.

NOW for 2015.....I have a lot of goals. I strongly suggest writing any out that you may have and placing this list on the back of a door so you can be reminded of any resolutions, goals, and dreams for the new year. I seem to have so many this year!!! This is not even all of them.....

Here is a bit of my list:
1. Be kind to myself, be happy.
2. Get really healthy run another half marathon.
3. Finish School, maybe take more school.
4. Pay off my debt, or at least half of it.
5. Work on making a family.
6.Travel plans, make a map with a list of places I want to go.
7. Move.
8. Read a couple books.

Well I am keeping this short and sweet for this post, but I wish you all an amazing 2015 filled with love, happiness, and health.

Love Erin van Veen

Inspiration "Best Health Magazine"

INSPIRATION- Something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create; a force or influence that INSPIRES someone.

I was recently asked to write a small blurb for Best Health Magazine for April/March issue. Not only was I completely excited, I felt so honored to be able to share a bit of my story with the world. I have been so fortunate in the past years to have news papers cover my fundraising and now a magazine. I know I am not going to solve all the worlds issues but at least I can start by inspiring others to make a change. Today I wanted to share a bit of an email that I received from one of my bosses. I was so very touched. I must say the amount of support has been amazing. I have a very hard time accepting that I could be inspiring to people. I think this has a lot to do with my own self confidence and the fact that I am not trying to inspire, but just doing what I know to be the right thing for me. I feel by writing, sharing and expressing my challenges allow others to talk about theirs. It opens up lines of communication which is good for everyone. Todays post is very small. I do not want to get to deep into something that is simple. If you help others in return they will help you, if you are nice to people in return they will be nice to you, if you spend more time counting your blessings doing good it will become a ripple effect and others will follow. One of the reasons I do so well everyday is because of the extreme amounts of support. Receiving an email like I did today, made me feel stronger, braver, and ready for my next challenge. My message today is allow yourself to be inspired and inspire others to do good things!

It is people like you who inspire all of us.

 

They fight back when challenges come into their lives and do not allow the challenge to define who they are.

Instead they have the tenacity and drive to take the challenge and turn it into victory.

They are the eagles of life whose  flight should be an inspiration to all of us.

Live is not defined by what we endure but rather by how we respond.

You truly are an inspiration to me and I am privileged to witness you flight.

Keep flying, others are watching.

Sincerely, Tony

Best Health magazine, January/February 2014

Erin Milliard, 35; North Vancouver

My achievement: Various runs (a 5K, 8K and half-marathon)
The cause: The Arthritis Society
What I raised: $5,000

I’m passionate about doing these runs to raise money for, and awareness of, arthritis. I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis eight years ago, when I was in my 20s; it was very difficult to wrap my head around it. I had always been active, but now running seemed to be so hard. So I made it a goal to do one run at a time and help raise money to help others. My mentor from the Arthritis Society gave me hope and support. When I crossed the finish line on my half-marathon, I cannot explain to you the feeling of pure joy I felt like nothing could stop me.

My running helps me stay positive and inspire others that anything is possible, and it helps change the perception that arthritis affects only older people. It has helped motivate me to fight my own battle, and in return help others.

I have great days, and bad days. I try to balance exercise with a positive attitude, and always have a goal in sight. I’ve achieved more from my diagnosis than I ever expected, and have decided to go back to school part-time in the medical field in hopes of one day becoming a mentor to someone like myself.

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And so.....

Let me start again .......My name is Erin Lynn Milliard and I have Ankylosing Spondylitis. This chronic debilitating disease has tested all my limits. It has tested my strength, my weakness, my body, my soul, and my mental state. It has tried to trick me to giving in to it over and over.....it has cause so many tears that I could have a river named after me. In 2009 decided to start writing a blog to help me cope with all the information I was getting, to have a voice and to help others. Somewhere along the line I got lost. I have so much to be grateful for yet everyday this damn disease takes control. Everyone has their opinions maybe I should do this, or maybe I should do that....I need to be clean eating, I need to go on the anti-inflammatory diet, I need to do yoga.........Today I walked into my Specialist office and said I WANT YOU TO FIX ME......I want you to make me better. The first time in 7 or 8 years that I actually started to cry. I generally find that letting them see that I am positive and happy means maybe better results. What I have found is that today I finally was able to show how truly scared I am. I am 35 years old and I all I want is to get up every morning and be able to function normally, I want people to look at me at work and see that I am doing my very best. I want to look at a mom and her baby and see that I will be able to get through this hard time and be a mom as well. I want to be that pillar of motivation for others but in order for all this to happen I need to break into a million pieces first. How is it possible on paper to show that I have this, genetic testing shows it's in my blood line and that the findings are true, yet in my heart I believe there must be another reason.......I have never said I would settle for this diagnosis and as the years go by and I am faced with sending off more paperwork to get approved for yet again another drug because the paperwork tells them this is what I need. In my heart what I wish for is that day when someone says we found a cure. As my million pieces are sitting on the doctor floor he looks at me and says that he is going to do everything to try and fix me.....The one goal is to stay positive. I don't feel strong today I feel mildly defeated. As I embark on my next new drug I have high hopes that will help me function better, be happy, and help me have the energy to keep on keeping on. If you were to ask me what I have learned this far on my journey it might go something like this..........

I have learned that "quitting" and "giving up" are only words used in times of frustration, I have learned that those words motivate me not give up. I have learned that by letting people in my chances of staying sane are much better lol. I have learned that although I may feel some days like I am defective, these defects are what makes me. This disease had taken me places that I would have never imagined, met people who truly inspire me, help others, and be compassionate. I have gained friends because of it, and have also lost friends to this disease. I have learned that I am smart, and beautiful in my own way even with a limp!! I mean I went back to school because of this disease. As I look back on my first ambitious post 5 years ago, I never thought I would be back at square one with my disease. I guess I thought I would be cured. I am going to work on picking up my million pieces and I am going to dig very deep to find out how I can manage this better for my future. |I am going to cry and I am going to embrace my arthritis in a new way........I want to thank you for reading my poor grammar for this long and I want to thank those who remind me constantly (MOM) that I am good enough and that good things will happen. Til next time xxoo E